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My Hometown

Sometimes I dream about the cracks in the sidewalk. That cavernous pit on Key Corner that always grabbed the front wheel of my skate and sent me plummeting to the hot asphalt. Blood dripped down my leg as I continued my journey to the Exxon for a grape Slush Puppie […]


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Santa Eats Roast Beef

After church this morning, my daughter and I decided to go to lunch solo, sans the male members of the family. It’s only day 3 of Christmas break, and my husband and her brother are both getting on our nerves, respectively. So, we left them to eat ham and cheese […]


My Ultimate Holiday Survival Kit

  Ho, ho, ho, people. Christmas is upon us. And it truly is the most wonderful time of the year. The good folks over at Man Crates reached out and asked me to write a post about five things that would undoubtedly be in my holiday survival kit, if I […]

Holiday

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Dear Girl

Dear Girl, The time will one day come when you and I clear the shelves at Bed, Bath and Beyond. Grab those fluffy pillows and picture frames and a zebra-printed comforter. You’ll love that groovy bean bag and shaggy rug and plush towels and what the hey, let’s throw in […]


Dear Boy

Dear Boy, As you sleep peacefully on your top bunk in Spiderman pajamas with your inseparable ratty teddy bear under one arm and Hulk under the other, I think about how quickly you’ve grown. It seems just like yesterday you were pooping your Pampers and puking your peas. Before I […]

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This Storm

Storms come into all of our lives. Sometimes, like radar, we see them ominously approaching. Other times they can appear as quickly as the sudden summer shower that causes us to haphazardly throw all our crap in the beach bag and scurry for the hotel. When these storms come, for […]


Dear Young Couple

Dear Young Couple, I don’t personally know you, but I spent 45 minutes observing you last week. Wait. I’m not some stalking psycho. Before you reach for a can of pepper spray or notify the authorities, please allow me to explain. You were standing in line at a tourist attraction […]

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Ten Kids’ TV Shows That Really Work My Nerves

When my daughter was small, I knew the words to every “Yo Gabba Gabba” episode, verbatim, which I incoherently recited at random and, in turn, caused friends and loved ones to believe I was on hallucinogenic drugs. When my son was born, I swore that I wouldn’t let him watch […]