I Don’t Get Lint


I don’t get lint. I just cant wrap my head around it. I get the basic premise of lint- fibers of fabric. I just cannot grasp the concept of lint-specifically the belly button variety.

Ive never had belly button lint. My husband, however, produces a jumbo sized cotton ball on a daily basis. And despite wearing WHITE Haynes Beefy-T’s under his dress shirts daily, his navel gives birth to a massive GRAY ball of yarn. Does he need to seek medical attention?

Navel Fluff sounds like a good band name.

I can understand the lint that I clean from the dryer. The fibers are violently tumbled from the clothing. But, Hubs isn’t violently tumbling throughout the day. Why so much lint? Why, God, why?

I’m contemplating knitting Great Aunt Ida a scarf from said lint. I just hate to see so much textile go to waste.

“Happy birthday, Aunt Ida. Do you like this gray scarf I’ve so carefully crafted for you? Be sure to let the ladies down at the Rotary Club know this is 100% great-nephew-made material. Straight from his navel to your neck. That makes it even more special. Don’t you love it?”

Poor Aunt Ida.

I am a fairly intelligent person. I understand the process of reverse osmosis. I think I can interpret crop circles. I followed the movie “Vanilla Sky”. I just don’t get lint.

This is disturbing on so many levels.
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About Susannah

I'm a freelance writer, blogger, aspiring best-selling author, wife of one and stay-at-home mother of two. I was chosen for the Top 13 in Blogger Idol and contribute pieces to The Huffington Post and Hahas for Hoohas. My work has also been featured in several humorous e-books, "Southern Writers’ Magazine", "The Humor Daily", "The Funny Times" and on the Erma Bombeck website. When I'm not putting pen to paper, bandaging boo-boos or spraying Shout on unidentifiable stains, I enjoy reading, playing the piano and teaching my children all about Southern charm. God has blessed me beyond measure and to Him be the glory forever.


5 thoughts on “I Don’t Get Lint

  • Adaiha

    Haha, I guess that gray lint is a guy thing because my boyfriend develops a new lint ball every day. And he rarely wears gray. I think it is their body hair that pulls it in there. Or something.

    You get a lot of anonymous comments. What’s the deal with that? Come on people, it is easier to make a profile that shows your name than to decipher these impossible-to-read things that keep the robot spammers from invading.

    • Susannah

      The body hair pulls is in. That must be it.

      Yes I get alot of anonymous comments. I’ve got 2/3 of them pegged as family, whove got no idea what a Blogger account is. The rest I don’t know. Maybe its my mom commenting anonymously over and over just to boost my spirits that people are reading.

  • Kathy

    LOL! What a topic! When my hubby wears a flannel shirt without a t-shirt underneath, he always ends up with a nice sized multi-colored ball of lint in his belly button.
    It must be the body hair that causes it. I’ve never heard of a woman who had belly button lint. Then again, maybe women just don’t admit to it.

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