Fa La La La La and Happy Birthday, Blog.

Happy 1st  Birthday, blog.

I’ve watched you grow for the last twelve months, morphing from my sweet little bloggity baby into such a big bloggity baby.

I know it’s been a long strange trip for you, my sweet offspring.

You had your name changed at 8 months old.

I know it confused you when Mama quit calling you Write, Rinse, Repeat. I know you were just starting to respond to your name, even trying to babble it once in a while.

How cute it was when you stuttered, “Wi, Wis, Weweat”.

And then mean old Mama said “No, Write, Rinse, Repeat! No, no! Now your name is Whoa! Susannah! Whoa! Susannah! Say it! Say it, dammit!”

And tears poured from your eyes as big, bad, meanie pants Mama hovered over you screaming strict name change orders in German-furious spit and foam slinging from my small, square mustache.

(Again with the Hitler references.)

But, alas! You’ve finally learned your new name.

And you can now drink whole milk.

And stumble from the coffee table to the couch without headplanting onto the hardwood floor.

Oh, I cant help but weep tears of pride and of joy at seeing how far you’ve come, my sweet precious love.

I have a birthday suprise for you, sweet baby.

I know. I know.  Mama’s first vlog was enough present for you, but I’ve decided to link up with Monday Listicles.

I’ve heard such wonderful things about Monday Listicles for a long time now, and I finally think you’re ready, sweet blog. It’s time for the cord to be cut (not literally or my computer would have no power) and for you to join this new playgroup. I have confidence that you’ll do just fine. Mama loves you.

**INSERT RECORD SCRATCH SOUND HERE**

That was getting wierd….calling myself Mama in third person like that. You get the idea. I’ve been blogging for a year. I was typing in baby voice as if my blog is an actual child, turning one year old, and…enough, already. You get it.

So, I’m linking up with Monday Listicles. And here’s the deal, yo.

Monday Listicles is this wonderful link up where you make lists. It could be lists of the ten worst lovers you’ve ever had (whore) or the ten best pork products you’ve ever had (glutton), but it’s a post about lists. And I dig lists.

The theme for this week is ten Christmas/Holiday songs that you love, hate, or love to hate or hate to love or kind of like or sort of suck or remind you of cottage cheese and peanut butter M&Ms. Anyway, here’s my list. I love some of them, and I hate others.

1. Ray Charles- Spirit of Christmas.

 Picture this. Clark Griswold sits in his attic in an old turqoise gypsy hat, watching old home movies, a tear pouring down his cheek, with the sweet sounds of Ray Charles singing The Spirit of Christmas. Beautiful moment, beautiful song, beautiful close up of Chevy Chase’s chin dimple.

2. Elvis Presley- Blue Christmas

I hate the rythym, I hate the twang, I hate what resembles the sound of Hound Dog receiving euthenasia. Hate this song. Loathe the hell out of it.

3. O, Holy Night

This is the most beautiful song ever. And I’m super proud that I taught it to myself on the piano. I love figuring anything out on the piano. It’s as if I’m saying, “Hey, look what my ears made my fingers do.” Beautiful song about our Savior’s birth. Just beautiful.

4. Carol of the Bells

What an angelic melody. However, it makes for a terrible ringtone. I was standing in the Hell-Mart this afternoon and noticed I had 12 missed calls because the downloadable version of this song from Verizon Wireless sucks. It’s just too quiet. You suck, Verizon Ringtones. It’s Carol of the Bells, not Carol of the Cottonballs. Make some noise, dammit.

5. Brad Paisley- Santa Looked Alot Like Daddy

This song is good for one thing- summoning vomit to rise into my esophogus. Stick to searching for Ticks, BP.

6. My Daughter- White Christmas

My six year old loves to play this on the piano and “attempt” to sing the words. It’s the most beautiful and confusing thing my ears have ever laid wax upon.

7. Muppets- Twelve Days of Christmas

Miss Piggy singing “Five Golden Rings” multiple times will rip the Christmas Spirit from your chest like a cardiologist with anger issues.

8. Jackson 5- I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus

Joe aint no Santa, Michael. You’re sadly mistaken.

9. David Bowie- Little Drummer Boy

This song scares me. All I can picture is a Labrynth-esqe Bowie attacking some small kid with a love of percussion. Stay away, Bowie. Stay away.

10. Bruce Springsteen- Santa Claus is Coming to Town

There’s nothing like The Boss singing about The Boss. It’s like Glory Days and Thunder Road came to the mall to have a picture taken on the big guy’s lap. Heart it.

Check out other Christmas song lists at Monday Listicles! Merry Christmas to all and to all a good day!

Wife, Mama, Author, Humorist, Podcaster, Southerner, Jesus Follower, CEO of Twelve Tails Farm.

24 comments

  1. @dkotucker says:

    First…Happy Blog Birthday!

    Second…if you don’t look forward to Mondays, you will now.

    Third…O Holy Night is one of my favourites too!

    Enjoyed your list!

  2. Elsie says:

    Happy Blogirthday! I’m sure that’s a real word, it must be!

    I love that your daughter made the list. I used to love to hear my kids sing, now, not so much. It’s okay, I’m not a terrible mom, I’m um, honest. They take after me and sound like a cat in heat. I don’t want them on American Idol getting their dreams crushed by whoever is hosting it by then, that’s my job: Dream Crusher.

    Where was I before I hi-jacked your blog? Right – HappyBlogirthday and I love your list!

  3. Happy Blogiversary!!!!! Bruce’s “Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town” is my all time favorite Christmas carole. I go nuts singin’ and dancin’ around the house when it comes on. Thank Gawd you didn’t list the hippo song. I think I need to open up a can of whoop ass on the person responsible for that crap!!!!

  4. Welcome and congratulations and please tell me you’ve weened or it might get awkward all up in here.

    Thank you for trashing “Blue Christmas.” I. just. hate. it.
    And you cracked me up with ” It’s Carol of the Bells, not Carol of the Cottonballs.” Ellen

  5. Thanks for sharing your blog with us for a whole year! I’m a fan, think you’re a laugh riot and look forward to many years to come. Great List too, though I can’t abide puppets singing, heh. Also, Dolly is the only country singer I’ll listen to, even at Christmas.

  6. CLR says:

    Happy birthday, Blog!!!!

    Congrats to you on your novel and your blog and vlog and whoo hoo! Get up and dance, girl, for all the great things goin’ on!!!

    I am going to have to skip on over to the Monday Listicles….I love lists. I am weird in that I actually like Mondays. I like Mondays with lists with lisps….okay, enough. Very cool!

    If I were to join in on the Christmas song loathe list – we have a collective abhorrence for anything by The Carpenters and I can not stand the old song ‘Snow!’. Annoys me to death!

  7. Kim S. says:

    Happy birthday and great list. I learned a few things. ; ) And I laughed out loud (really I did. Not just an expression) at “It’s time for the cord to be cut (not literally or my computer would have no power)”

  8. Stasha says:

    Anyone who plonks Muppets on their list is an instant friend of mine!! Lovey to meet you, happy blogversary and a very Merry Christmas indeed!

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