That’s Enough, SAHM’s


Oh, the poor, exhausted stay-at-home mother: her yoga pants constantly covered in little people’s various body fluids and her dreams of backpacking across Europe flushed down the toilet with her cell phone (courtesy of her toddler). The sad, resentful woman with a sink full of dirty dishes, a hamper full of grass-stained clothes, unhelpful husband, ornery children and burned chicken.

Before you rip the electric sliding doors from your minivans and charge at me with sharp kitchen utensils because of that first controversial paragraph, please know that I, too, am a stay-at-home mom (SAHM), raised by a SAHM, and constantly surrounded by friends and family who are also SAHMs, so I have some authority on this subject.

I know what it’s like to have a horrible day. I know what it’s like to run a fever of 103, with the intense desire to sleep, and still have to burp people and try to block out the shrieking sound of screaming toddlers. I completely, utterly, wholly and thoroughly understand that being a SAHM is a stressful, selfless and never-ending job. I believe it is easier to solve calculus problems whilst under the influence of mind-altering drugs than it is to devote all of your time and energy to short people who rely on you for everything.

However.

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About Susannah

I'm a freelance writer, blogger, aspiring best-selling author, wife of one and stay-at-home mother of two. I was chosen for the Top 13 in Blogger Idol and contribute pieces to The Huffington Post and Hahas for Hoohas. My work has also been featured in several humorous e-books, "Southern Writers’ Magazine", "The Humor Daily", "The Funny Times" and on the Erma Bombeck website. When I'm not putting pen to paper, bandaging boo-boos or spraying Shout on unidentifiable stains, I enjoy reading, playing the piano and teaching my children all about Southern charm. God has blessed me beyond measure and to Him be the glory forever.


8 thoughts on “That’s Enough, SAHM’s

  • Roseann

    Completely agree. It’s true, some days are hard. And sometimes I felt guilty for being able to be home, or underappreciated by my husband. My children are older, my youngest is 16 and I’m back in the workforce now… and I am so grateful I was able to be with them when they were little.

  • Rachel

    I’m so grateful I was able to stay home with my now grown children. The time I spent cleaning, cooking, and caring for them payed off when the other day I over heard my son tell his wife “My mom makes the best homemade soup. I will always remember how great it tasted when she’s long gone.” I know, not much but I know he will remember the LOVE part of it too! Staying home to be a mom was time well spent and cannot ever be replaced!

  • Natalie Desmarais

    I read this article/blog/whatever it is somewhere else, and I really hated you. I mean, I reallllllly hated you. I even googled your picture because I needed a face to the hate!! And then I asked myself “Why?” and it was because you were describing me. Completely. I have ADHD (inattentive type) and finally just faced the music that I needed to be on meds. I have been on Ritalin since, and I have my life back! Love my house, love my kids, love my everything! I think you could have said some things with more compassion, but then I wouldn’t have hated you enough to find my solution. So thanks, Susannah B. Appreciate the honesty. 🙂

    • Susannah Post author

      Wow, Natalie (my daughter’s name, btw), I appreciate YOUR honesty. Looking back on writing this piece, I do agree with you. I could have used some compassion in a few places. But what people don’t understand about this piece is that I understand complaining. I’ve done it 23 times today and it isn’t even 9:30 am yet, but this article was for the mothers who find CONSTANT discontent with their lives. And yes, I know many of them. This piece was really meant to be a positive thing- and I’m glad it turned out to be that way for you. I wish you much luck and success and I’m glad that things are going better for you. God bless and thanks for your comment. It is truly appreciated. (I don’t know if anyone has ever Googled me before, just to find a face to hate, but I’m somewhat flattered. Is that weird?)

  • Audra

    I find that there is a culture of complain with SAHMs. I think it is a way to avoid the guilt of not working. If they have a horribly hard time then they are not to be envied. It is a justification of their life choices. I am a SAHM too btw. People as me what I do all day. I make a point of answering with positive experiences but I think some don’t so they can avoid judgment. As a mum if you work you are judged if you stay home you are judged. May as well enjoy yourself!

  • C

    I started reading and thought I would hate this piece because it was going to be from an entitled, overly-blessed, and amply staffed SAHM but it’s not and it helped me reflect on myself and on this “mommy war” that seems never-ending. My personal opinion on this “us vs them” thing is that way way back, the gender roles were so clear. The resentment was also so clear – marriages were different then. Mom does everything and dad goes to work. The social expectations were pretty clear for the majority of American families. Over time, the gender roles have slid and some have reversed, however social expectations haven’t really caught up and this leaves many moms who are at work with guilt for missing everything at home and the moms who stay at home with guilt for not having a career. A mother’s “role” is so unclear and varied that you’ll always feel like you’re falling short one way or another. Also, the mothers who gripe about being home might need help transitioning to motherhood with anti-depressants, therapy, and support? Some women are setup for rocking motherhood, some figure it out on the way, and others have no real model for “good mothering” and have deep issues that come up through the process.
    Like stalking an ex who inexplicably left you, you’re haunting your former self and scrolling through smiling, slender pics on Facebook of your pre-mom self wondering what that person is doing now. Thanks for this piece. I loved it.

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