Santa Eats Roast Beef

After church this morning, my daughter and I decided to go to lunch solo, sans the male members of the family. It’s only day 3 of Christmas break, and my husband and her brother are both getting on our nerves, respectively. So, we left them to eat ham and cheese sandwiches and stale Annie’s Cheddar Bunnies and we headed down to our local diner.

We both ordered breakfast because there’s never a wrong time to consume greasy sausage links and hash browns. Then we chatted about mundane things like where butter comes from and her baby brother’s latest tantrum which stemmed from his refusal to get off the toilet this morning so she could use it.

I don’t condone physically removing your younger sibling from the crapper and pushing him into the bathtub unless it’s early and you really really really need to go and he just sits there dangling his legs and refusing to get up because he finds joy in being a pain in your backside.

I’ve digressed.

So, as we were chatting, the kids in the diner began proclaiming, “There’s Santa!”

I looked up and saw this jolly old man with a long white beard walking through the door. He was wearing a red shirt under his suspenders and he parked his big round butt in the booth right next to us.

And then he ordered a roast beef sandwich with a side of Au Jus and tater tots. Because he’s carb-loading for all of the work he has coming up. Obviously.

My daughter was overcome with suspense.

“Is that him, Mama?” she quietly asked me as she glanced at him out of the corner of her big blue eyes.

“Do you think it is?” I shrugged.

“It may be. His beard looks real.” she eyed the long white hair hanging from his kind, rosy face.

She’s 8-years-old and I know that magic bell will one day soon stop ringing for her, so I welcome these moments when she’s so consumed by the belief and magic of Santa that her eyes twinkle like stars.

“Yep, those whiskers look pretty real to me,” I said.

The jolly old fellow noticed her stare. He pulled a candy cane from the pocket of his trousers and reached over and placed it on our table.

“Merry Christmas,” he winked at her.

The look on her face at that moment is one that I will forever cherish.

On Christmas morning, when she’s 16, sitting on our living room floor in my old Led Zeppelin t-shirt, plaid pajama pants and plain white socks and unwrapping expensive presents that she knows were purchased with Daddy’s debit card at Best Buy, I know the happiness on her face will never compare to what I saw today.

The true joy of Christmas was broadcast loud and clear on those baby cheeks and in those beautiful aqua eyes.

“It really is him, Mama,” she grinned ear to ear.

“I think so, too.”

“Noel (our Elf on the Shelf) must have told him how ridiculous (brother) acted this morning. That’s why he’s in town.”

“I think so, too.”

Thanks, Mr. Au Jus, for ringing that bell loud and clear for her this morning.

Merry Christmas.






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About Susannah

I'm a freelance writer, blogger, aspiring best-selling author, wife of one and stay-at-home mother of two. I was chosen for the Top 13 in Blogger Idol and contribute pieces to The Huffington Post and Hahas for Hoohas. My work has also been featured in several humorous e-books, "Southern Writers’ Magazine", "The Humor Daily", "The Funny Times" and on the Erma Bombeck website. When I'm not putting pen to paper, bandaging boo-boos or spraying Shout on unidentifiable stains, I enjoy reading, playing the piano and teaching my children all about Southern charm. God has blessed me beyond measure and to Him be the glory forever.

11 thoughts on “Santa Eats Roast Beef

  • Author Amy McGuire

    Hi Susannah! Just wanted to stop by and thank you for referring people to my little blog this year and for following me. I always love reading your blog and am humbled and grateful that you read mine. Wishing you and your loved ones a very Happy New Year!

  • kelley1987

    Hi Susannah, just found your blog. I recently came across your work on Haha for Hoohas and loved it. I’m sure you get this question all the time and I hate to be unoriginal :p. But do you have any advice for me on becoming a regular blogger? I’ve tried to blog before but I can never stick with it. My blog posts are usually a year or two apart! I would love to become a successful freelance writer like you but I’m not sure how to get started. Though I imagine blogging regularly probably helps :p. Well thanks for reading this and I hope you had a great Christmas! A bit late but Happy New Year!

    • Susannah Post author

      Hi Kelley! I wish I had some inspiring words for you, but as you can see, I only blog about twice a month. I used to blog daily and then life and stuff got in the way. It certainly does help your freelance career if you write regularly- building a fan base, etc. I encourage you to write as much as you can- if not for your blog then for writing contests, website submissions, etc. Send your work out as many places as you can. That will definitely jumpstart your freelance career. Thanks so much for reaching out and God bless. 🙂

  • Christine Carter

    First of all- WHOA!!!!! I LOVE WHAT YOU’VE DONE TO THIS PLACE!!!!!
    Just so sophisticated and professional and everything… *sniffs while holding her collar*

    This just melted my heart. Oh what a precious moment!! And now it’s written for her to read someday and for you to always reminisce…

    • Susannah Post author

      Thanks so much my precious CC! The makeover is long overdue. And I’m so glad we had this santa moment. Hope you’re doing better!

  • Amanda

    Absolutely precious! There is nothing more special than sencere moments joy with your children. I am so looking forward to making these kinds of memories with my daughters!

  • Connie

    LOVE LOVE LOVE your stories !! Keep writing !! I relate to a lot of your stories and thoughts..and laugh at rest.. Bless you and yours Merry Christmas yal ! ❤

  • Shelby Spears

    Awww! Love this! What a great Santa to stay in character and give you this precious memory to keep forever. I love that there are people like him in the world! <3

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