Day 111: Living

One hundred and eleven days since my mother’s beauty graced this earth. One hundred and eleven mornings I’ve woken up and immediately thought, “She’s gone.” It’s been an awful one hundred and eleven days. It’s been an awful task to face each day without her here. But I do it. I fix […]

Letting Go

I stood at my mother’s kitchen door and watched the large moving truck painted with ivory keys and musical notes back into her driveway. As the truck reversed, the gears grinded and an annoying beeping noise echoed through the crisp winter air. I leaned my forehead against the door and, […]

Day Eighty: Rejoicing in Sorrow

It’s old news that my mother passed away eighty days ago. It’s old news that my father died when I was eleven. Four years have come and gone since we lost my godfather. A year has now passed since I miscarried. My last grandparent died in 2006. Those are some of the major […]

Day Seventy Seven: Anger

I don’t know the five stages of grief by heart, although I should after all of the “grief” reading I’ve done over the last seventy-seven days, but I do know that anger is one of the emotions. And I’m there. Right now. I’m angry. I’m angry that both of my […]

Holiday Heartbreak: Missing My Mother

My father died four days before Thanksgiving 1992. I was only 11, but I well remember that Thanksgiving meal at a chain restaurant. I remember poking my fork at dry mashed potatoes and bland sweet potatoes that couldn’t compare to my mother’s. I remember feeling very unthankful that I was fatherless at such […]

Day Fortysomething: Signs, Signs, Everywhere Are Signs

Yesterday was damn near debilitating. I was so overcome with sadness that I didn’t even want to get out of the bed. I left church early because I was nauseated and thought I was going to hurl on the poor unsuspecting family sitting in front of me. I thought maybe I […]

Day Forty Two

I think the biggest struggle with my mother’s death, aside from the fact that she physically isn’t here to talk to me or give me advice or wrap me in an Elizabeth Arden-scented hug or make me a Mississippi Mud Cake, is that this is the first loss I’ve suffered without […]

Day Thirty-Eight: An Explanation

Explanation: I know that the majority of this blog’s followers found me through my humor. I know reading something witty I wrote for Huffington Post or Hahas for Hoohas or Funny Times, etc. prompted you to give my page a second gander. I know my PSA’s about redneckery in the Wal-MartS or stifling the urge to […]

Day Thirtysomething

I was at my daughter’s softball game last weekend, yelling and jumping with excitement as her team narrowly pulled off a tough win. For any stranger who watched me bounce out of my folding chair and shout excitedly at the winning run, they would never have known my mother died only a month ago. I appeared […]

Day Fifteen

Today I went to my mother’s alone for the first time since she passed. I immediately went to her piano and played a song that she taught me when I was only 8 or 9. I left feeling like we had shared something intimate and sacred. I left feeling as […]