My doctor recently put me on hormones to help with my fertility issues. God help us all.

I searched the side effects sheet but didn’t see any of the following:

1. Overactive Appetite- Far surpassing that of a Grizzly Bear taking Prednisone.
2. Overactive Tear Ducts- I cried at a Jeep commercial.
3. Overactive Oil Production- My face resembles a Red Baron pepperoni pizza.
4. Overactive Breast Tenderness- I almost sucker punched my son when he threw an elbow into my topside.
5. Overactive Mood Swings- I’ve sent my husband, children and small animals scurrying for cover to escape my wrath.
6. Overactive Sense of Smell- I thought Ore Ida French Fries smelled like Bordeaux’s Butt Paste.
7. Overactive Fatigue- I’m not talking about being a little drowsy. I’m talking about borderline narcolepsy.
8. Weight Gain- See Number 1.

Let me repeat. God help us all.

Fertility Hormones PMS