I get it, okay? I totally do.
I get that Michael Phelps is amazing.
I get that he can move through water faster than Crockett and Tubbs’ speedboat on Miami Vice. I get that he has more gold than that woman running the Cash 4 Gold party, who threw my pinky ring back at me, shaking her head, and stating that it was “merely gold plated.”
However, I don’t get why every time I turn on the Olympic Games, I see him there, at the aquatic center, with his rock hard abs and goofy grin. Are there any other competitions going on in London right now? If so, I’ve missed them.
When I turn on the Olympics, all I see is swimming.
Swimming.
More swimming.
However, I did catch Gabby Douglas’ amazing performance a few nights ago.
“Mama, that Gabby Douglas is flipping amazing,” said my 6 year old daughter, who is fascinated with gymnastics. I thought she was using expletives until I realized she meant Gabby Douglas did amazing flips.
We enjoyed the heck out of the gymnastic competition. Then, we were taken back to the aquatic center for more swimming.
Swimming.
More swimming.
They’ve done the breaststroke, backstroke, butterfly, freestyle, handstands. What is left? Olympic Marco Polo? Olympic Pool Categories?
Phelps: Okay, favorite ice cream flavors. Chocolate. Vanilla. General Tso Sweet and Sour Sherbet?
Yang Sun: That’s mine! (spoken in Chinese)
Yang Sun takes off across the pool.
Phelps: I’m gonna get you, Sun! I’m going to get you!
Announcer: And Michael Phelps tags Yang Sun! He tags him! Michael Phelps is going home with the gold for Pool Categories!
Ridiculous, right?
My husband walks in the living room last night. The look of awe and amazement on his face was parallel with the time he farted and sneezed simultaneously and when I gave birth to our children.
Hubs: Did you know they have trampoline in the Olympics? Freaking trampoline!
Me: Shut your mouth. Trampoline?
Hubs: Yes, trampoline! Freaking amazing! Turn on the Olympics NOW!
Me: Okay! Okay! Yippee! Trampoline!
I turn on the Olympics and guess what I see? A pool. And Michael Phelps nipples. I’ve seen Michael Phelps nipples more than my own for the last 7 days.
I get it, America. We are proud of Phelps. The guy is amazing. But, my husband and I want to see the trampoline competition, okay?
And let’s face it, if Michael Phelps didn’t swim like a fish, with his abs of steel, he would merely be a dope head that eats at Subway.
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| Phelps’ reaction while reading this post. |
No hard feelings, Phelps. I’m proud of you. So is Young Jeezy.
Thank You! Did you know they have female heavy weight Judo?! How amazing is that?! So annoyed by the coverage…I missed Gabbys gold went online to see it ..I have to log in with a dumb password…but the real catch..you have to have one of the.providers listed…ugh still have yet to see her amazingness!
Thank You! Did you know they have female heavy weight Judo?! How amazing is that?! So annoyed by the coverage…I missed Gabbys gold went online to see it ..I have to log in with a dumb password…but the real catch..you have to have one of the.providers listed…ugh still have yet to see her amazingness!
Heavy weight Judo!!!!???????? What!!!
I love this! So true.
Glad I’m not alone! Thx.
so funny – my last post about the olympics is filled with pics of Michael Phelps – we are feeding the beast!!!
I loved your Olympic post!
What did they say in Finding Nemo? Oh yeah, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming. I’ve seen more aqua than Aloha Pools with all this Olympics coverage.
I came sooooo close to putting the Nemo line in there. I’ve been singing it for days!
I’m a little sick of the Phelpnomenon as well. But moreover, why must we even watch Chiving? Why does everyone think Misty May is hot? Why is there no “side out” anymore?
WG
Phelpnomenon. You pose great questions.
I was looking forward to the gymnastics but they certainly didn’t show much of that.
But yep – swimming. And swimming. And more swimming.
My hubby made note of the trampoline competition, too! lol!
I bet trampoline was amazing.
I meant to say agua. Go figure I try to be witty and it blows up in my face. I can’t type for shiz either.
I read it as agua so I’m an effing idiot that can’t read for shiz.
I’m so sick of the Olympics. I don’t watch it.
who’s Michael Phelps? LOL
Some pot head. That swims.
Swimming is over so you’ll have switch your rant to track and field. BTW I’m in Vancouver, Canada, and the Olympic coverage here stinks. It’s just commentators talking with an occasional glimpse of some Canadian loosing.
Olympic coverage here stinks. It’s just commentators talking with an occasional glimpse of some Canadian losing. 🙂
Bahaha! Love the picture of Phelps. You should check out the diving. One of the American guys is packing. Which is to say he has a giant wiener. It should be in its own category with its own set of judges and everything.
Floatation devices.
Uverse has this app on the tv that lets you know when certain events are coming on, so I was able to tape trampolining. I found it the last olympics or so in the wee hours of the morning. And I perfected the craft on Mario & Sonic Olympics for the Wii.
Michael Phelps is a great athlete, but THE WORST at interviews. And they interview him when he’s out of breath and even dumber. And why won’t NBC just show all the same sport at one time?!
But I bet he throws a kick ass party when they get back to the states. Him and Jeezy.
You trip my shit.
BTW, I have Mario and Sonic on the Wii. There is no trampolining on my version. Wth?
His interviews are painful to watch. I don’t understand half of what he says.
That’s one kick ass party.
Bahahah. I haven’t been watching the summer games because my country sucks at summer stuff. (Canada – home of backyward icerinks). I’m sorry you’ve seen Michael Phelps nipples so much – that is unforgiveable. (Unless you see them in person)
I don’t know. At this point, if I saw them in person, I would probably twist the heck out of them and tell him to quit hogging air time on tv.
Sooo, I have to say that when the Olympics started I was watching on NBC, and all I saw was the pool. Then I came to Canada a few days ago and I’ve also seen bicycle racing, judo, diving (more pool), women’s weight lifting, and water polo (more pool). So, it’s been a bit more varied. Oh! And trampolining–that really was flipping amazing!
I’m starting to get really angry that I’ve missed trampolining.
Funny post — though I have to admit I like watching the swimming, mostly because it’s a sport my kids can actually do — unlike dressage or rowing (we don’t have a horse or Mitt Romney’s money, nor anywhere to row). My seven-year-old is a natural swimmer (he has more athletic talent than mine and my hubby’s put together and squared). I missed trampolining completely.
The caption under Phelps’ pic is hysterical!!!
Is it bad that I never get tired of watching the abs? I mean athletes?
I absolutely love this. It is all sooooo very true!!! Also I don’t think the guy can look someone in the eye and speak. He always turns away and talks behind him. It would be nice to see and hear about different athletes!!!! You did good on this one!!! Totally cracked me up!!!!
Please don’t hate me when I say I haven’t watched a single bit of the Olympics, and I really don’t know who Michael Phelps is. But in that picture he looks kind of like he’s trying to fart without crapping his pants.
I do not care at all about the Olympics. It is to the point where I’m starting to get angry about them.
However, your post made me laugh at the Olympics. And that picture at the end was the best. Best.
In one race, Yang Sun’s false start made my my heart go into my knees.
I loved the omnium cycling. Kinda like speed skating and all kinds of crazy rules. I was happy for Phelps, but being a Canadian viewer, our network focuses more on events Canadians will be interested in (like trampoline – our only gold.).
Oh I so hear you! At least it’s done now!
Gotta say as a former competitive swimmer I am thrilled that swimmers are finally – FINALLY! – getting the recognition they deserve. The training is grueling, boring and tiresome. And we only get our time in the spotlight once every four years so I am totally soaking it up! That said, I love watching gymnastics and diving too. But my heart is obviously with all of these swimmers.
Well written post, nonetheless 🙂
ILOVESWIMMINGILOVESWIMMINGILOVESWIMMING! Okay, I feel better now. But Karma is thumbing its nose at you because I opened your post to read it as they are doing the Olympic recap of…SWIMMING! I feel balanced again. 🙂 Funny post, especially the picture and caption.
Ellen
(P.S. – my girls swim competitively and I spend half my days in the tropical rainforest atmosphere of a pool. If I did not embrace it, I would go as crazy as Commander Marco Polo.)
good posting about XXX Hours of Michael Phelps
I am so over Phelps. I was over him after the last Olympics! I thought there was a little too much swimming and gymnastics. And I’m pretty sure I finished the Olympics thinking swimming and gymnastics were all they offered this year.
There are other tv stations with other olympic sports on them AND NBC has a site online where you can go and watch different sports. There are other options. Just saying.